Well, it’s been a while

So here I am at 2:30am writing a post on, what has appeared to be, a dead blog. I haven’t looked to see when the last post has been, but since I can’t remember, it’s probably been a while.

So what’s going on? Well let’s review. I have been retired for a year. An entire year to get adjusted to the “real world.” This is the world everyone else is used to, and I find strange, foreign and uncomfortable. I am still married (cause my wife is a ducking saint and she puts up with my dumb ass.). That’s a plus…even if you don’t think so. I do, so kindly fuck off if you feel otherwise.

I got another job after my first one out of the Navy, and that lasted 30 days. I loved that job. It was perfect. I made a shitty decision and it cost me that job.

I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s Disease. What’s that mean?!? Fuck if I know. I was informed via email. The personable bedside manner of the modern VA. Apparently my thyroid gave me the middle finger and went to Vegas, or wherever fed up thyroids go. Got given a whole lot of other meds to help me which means I have one of those Senior Citizen medicine organizers with the individual days and AM/PM too. Yup…AARP has their sights on me it seems.

Family is doing well. Wife is going back to school, FINALLY!!! She’s going to be the smart one of us and I’m glad for that. She makes good decisions and is more grounded than I.

So why am I writing again? (Why am I writing at the butt crack of morning?!?) Well I have been struggling with insomnia and depression. Today is the birthday of one of my best friends…great occasion right? Well she died 15 years ago and sometimes it’s hard. Still love her. Still miss her. Still feel like a bitch for pining. She’s kick me in the ass if she saw me doing this.

I’m still looking for a hobby. Still trying to find my place. Still trying to be…whatever the fuck I’m supposed to be. I don’t know what that is yet. At this point I’m not sure I’ll ever figure it out. Only big baby Jesus and Cthulhu know at this point.

Only thing I can say is that I’m thankful for my family. I’m not feeling self destructive and I’m not dead. These are things to be thankful for. If you are one of the 4 or so people who can read this, thank you for being there.